Saturday, December 17, 2005

No To Be's

A frequent occurrence in my life: at best, I lose the things I really wanted.

In 5th grade, I wanted a toy microscope. Now it lies somewhere in my basement, forgotten for many years. I wanted to drive across the country in high school. Now that I've crisscrossed the country multiple times, it no longer appeals to me. I wanted to make music my profession but now my skills as a violinist grows stale as the days go by.

Many things I wanted I cannot even have. I wanted to fly to the moon but I hate rollercoasters and would never survive lift-off. I wanted to own a cat but found that I'm allergic to them.

Although I could not keep what I wanted, they have given me more than I needed. From my toy microscope, I found an insatiable curiosity that carried me through my college career. From my dreams of driving across the country, I have found a love for meeting people around the globe and understanding them no matter what their background. From my aspirations in music, I have found an anchor that keeps me grounded.

Keeping what one wants may be difficult but having what one needs makes up for it.

2 comments:

Dave said...

Eating too much makes us sick. Drinking to much makes us puke. Having to much sex, well that's the goal then isn't it?

oakland heidi said...

Funny how old dreams shape us even after we have discarded them. Old loves, old friends, old identities... sometimes if I hate the moment I am in, I remind myself that one day, it will be a memory. I will one day look romantically upon my little twentsomething apartment with the crazy neighbors... life is strange and beautiful all at once.