An 11 Month Christmas Season

Christmas is a time to gather with family and friends, catch up with their lives and reflect on the year before returning to the busyness that defines our lives. But Christmas tends to be overshadowed by a long to-do list with a hard deadline of midnight on the 24th. It is ironic that what should be an enjoyable season turns into perhaps the most stressful and there is a certain sense of relief when it is over. Frequently one hears that the meaning of Christmas is all but lost.

This year, I found myself in a strange predicament. I usually finish my holiday responsibilities early; all my shopping was done and cards were sent. But furthermore, through a strange twist of events, I found myself in between jobs and my holiday plans did not start until Christmas Day. The upshot: it was two day before Christmas and I had absolutely nothing to do.

“This,” I thought to myself, “gives me the perfect opportunity to search for the elusive Christmas spirit!” But where does one begin this search? I decided to go to where one finds the most number of people in one place during the Christmas season: the mall.

The mall, at 9:30 PM, was a place inviting chaos. Lines for registers wound around stores while shelves looked disheveled and unkempt. All of the stereotypical shoppers were here - last minute shopper carrying multitudes of bags, the mother with her whinny child and the unruly high school mob on holiday. Exhausted sales clerks sat on the floor while yuppie families browsed for the latest gadgetry. The food court was crowded with people taking a break from their shopping marathons. All of this happened over the din of Christmas music played on loop - done, redone, until it’s overdone.

While sitting at the food court, I realized that there was a common theme in all of the pandemonium. The mall, for all its frenzied and materialistic nature, became a nexus for people to gather. It became a lively meeting spot for friends to converse over a plate of Lo Mein at an hour most people usually reserve for bedtime preparation. Families chatted the hours away as they rested their feet. Since the mall was open later than usual, homeless people had a warm place to stay for a few extra hours. In essence, the act of shopping for gifts had brought people together in ways that do not happen during the normal year. During Christmas, we go to parties that are held once a year. We spend time with family that we see infrequently. We meet new people through mutual friends. The only problem is that we are so busy we do not enjoy each other's company.

So as we recover from Christmas and clean up the mess left behind, let us stop and be thankful for the friendships that we already have. Now that the holiday responsibilities are over, let us spread the holiday spirit throughout the year. Let us spend time with friends old and new no matter what the occasion and take the time to truly enjoy their company. After all, we only have eleven months before we will have to ignore everybody in order to shop for them.

A Short Short Tail

Aston and Nora were strolling by the ocean one day when they stumbled upon a bottle. When Aston opened the bottle, a well-aged parchment fell out.

"Hello, you have reached the answering parchment of Najeeb the Genie. Please leave your name, the date, an address, and your three wishes, and I will grant them upon my return. Thank you very much and have a great life!"

The rest of the parchment was filled with scribbles of people's names, addresses and wishes.

Aston was the first to speak. "Remember how the others laughed at us as we planned our escape? They would be so jealous of our fortunes right now."

"Indeed," replied Nora. "Let us take it with us. It will make a good addition to our home."

So Aston and Nora took the parchment and left the bottle behind. At home, they put it on top of a pile of wood shavings.

Several centuries pass and upon his return, Najeeb found the front door to his house ajar, the inside flooded with ocean water and his answering parchment missing. He could not have known that his residence was left in such a state by two rabbits that escaped from a local petting zoo. The answering parchment was used as part of their bedding until it disintegrated from overuse. There really was no way Aston and Nora could have followed his succinct instructions.

After all, rabbits can't read.

No To Be's

A frequent occurrence in my life: at best, I lose the things I really wanted.

In 5th grade, I wanted a toy microscope. Now it lies somewhere in my basement, forgotten for many years. I wanted to drive across the country in high school. Now that I've crisscrossed the country multiple times, it no longer appeals to me. I wanted to make music my profession but now my skills as a violinist grows stale as the days go by.

Many things I wanted I cannot even have. I wanted to fly to the moon but I hate rollercoasters and would never survive lift-off. I wanted to own a cat but found that I'm allergic to them.

Although I could not keep what I wanted, they have given me more than I needed. From my toy microscope, I found an insatiable curiosity that carried me through my college career. From my dreams of driving across the country, I have found a love for meeting people around the globe and understanding them no matter what their background. From my aspirations in music, I have found an anchor that keeps me grounded.

Keeping what one wants may be difficult but having what one needs makes up for it.

Schoenberg vs. Mozart

It is an age-old question that spawned many battle over countless generations. Scholars fought to the death in giant roman coliseums over the question. Musicians representing each faction jockeyed for position in the world's greatest orchestras. Massive demonstrations in public squares cheered one side and jeered the other.

Who was better? Mozart or Schoenberg?

In order to spare the health of humans, some scientists have already tested this question on animals.

Biological Analysis: In Vivo Study
A group of laboratory rats in a University of Texas experiment were subjected to daily doses of Mozart, and another group of rats had Arnold Schoenberg as their daily fare. The rats as a total group preferred Mozart. (Cross, Halcomb, and Matter, Psychonomic Science 7, 233, 1967)

Rebuttal to Biological Analysis:
Rats are deaf to much of the music because more than half the notes of a Mozart sonata are below the absolute threshold for what rats can hear. (Kenneth Steele, Music Perception 21, 251, 2003)

Veterinary Health:
It has been discovered that research causes cancer in lab rats.

Conclusion:
Who in their right mind would compose music for rats to enjoy? That's like building a car for dogs to drive. If you really want to see which one is the better composer, sponsor a concert where they are playing back-to-back Mozart and Schoenberg. Then count the number of people who leave after the Mozart piece and before the Schoenberg piece. Common sense wins again.